God's Big Plan

I think I am finally reaching a point in my life where I am content with where God has placed me and my family. When I first moved to Maryland, I was practically begging the Lord to provide my husband with a job closer to home. I missed my friends, family and the familiarity of home. Time passed on and on and I was convinced that the Lord just wanted me to learn how to be content and secretly unhappy. Now that several years have passed, I see how wrong I was.

It started with finding work in this area. I wanted to work in an office setting so I could say I had a "real" job. I began that search about six months before I even got married and had no luck. When I did finally move down to Maryland, I decided to find work in a nursing home since I had worked in one for the past two years. Again, no luck. At last, I settled for applying at retail stores because sitting at home alone all day was driving me insane. Finally, I was hired at Old Navy.

I had to quit that job earlier this year because God blessed me with our son. Looking back at my time there, I really did enjoy my work. When I finally became comfortable with all of my responsibilites, I did not dread going. I even formed some friendships. I did have to leave the store before I realized these things, but I have discovered that is not always a bad thing.

Another thing I was craving here in Maryland was fellowship with Christian people. Being at work all day long with those who did not share the same values as I was emotionally and spiritually exhausting. I wanted someone to encourage me in the Lord! The church my husband and I attend is extremely large. Thousands of people walk in and out of those doors unnoticed and we fit into that category. The church strongly supported their small group program and encouraged all people to get involved with one. My husband and I finally buckled down and attended a small group launch program.

We have been with our small group for a year now and I am starting to truly enjoy everyone's company. We are all from different parts of the States and have moved away from our families to the Baltimore area because of job opportunities. How awesome is the Lord to have brought us together!

Another area that the Lord has blessed me in is my Stay-at-Home Moms Group. I saw an advertisement in our church's bulletin (which we never looked at, but my husband just so happened to grab one that fateful Saturday night). I saw on the back that a few women were trying to start up a Moms Group. I was extremely leery of joining because I knew I was probably going to be way younger than everyone else.

For six months I have been regularly meeting with the ladies in the Moms Group and I can say I am excited to see these ladies every week! We get along famously and have a great time talking to each other about the woes of being full-time Moms. Age makes no difference there.

It is amazing what my God has taught me these past two years. The biggest lesson I learned: do not question God's plan for you. He sees the big picture, while we only see a tiny speck at a time. In one moment everything may seem dark, hopeless and miserable, but if you hold on, the next moment everything is bright, hopeful and fantastic! God really loves us all and does have great plans for us!

Rediscovery

I logged onto my blogspot again because I wanted to follow a certain blog. It has been a year and a half since my last post and it astounds me how much has changed since then! I got pregnant shortly after my last post. I turned down a job promotion. I quit my job in January of 2011. I delivered a beautiful baby boy in March. Now, my life revolves around my son. Changing diapers, giving baths, playing, scrambling around the apartment to get things done, and turning to the internet for release.

It is amazing how much changes in so short a time!

Insomniac

I watch movies a lot. I watch at least one every day. Last night Dominick and I decided to watch a movie together while he did homework (That's how we solve having "together" time). I am not proud of the film we watched and was reminded that movies are rated "R" for good and valid reasons. Because of my shame of the content I will refrain from naming it.

However, even though the movie was filled with vulgarity and filth, the general concept of the movie intoxicated me. I was giddy with excitment to see how the writer and director were going to end the movie. And at the end I kept on telling Dominick how much I hated and loved it.

In a nutshell, this movie was about a man who was an insomniac for a year. His mind begins playing tricks on him and the viewer is left wondering what reality is in the film. There are many strange occurences in the film. For example, whenever "main guy" meets "certain girl" it is always 1:30, the fact that "main guy" is as thin as a pole (let me tell you, unnaturally thin people look really funny when they walk!), the color red prominently appearing at certain times, concepts of light/dark.

The symbolism that grabbed me the most during the film was the notion of light/dark. Certain times in the movie "main guy" has to make decisions to follow a path of damnation or salvation. I find it so intriguing that in a movie filled with so many worldly concepts that Godly principles dominated the main idea. In the end, through many trials and tribulations "main guy" was able to reach the road to salvation when he confronted the truth, recognized it and did the right thing. After making his hard, but morallyl correct decision, the dark, gray screen is filled with white and my eyes had to adjust to the brightness.

The ending was encouraging to me. It reminded me that the harder paths always lead to one's peace. The decision "main guy" had to make to reach his redemption was not the easy one and many would have ignored it to live a life of selfish indulgence. But, as this movie showed, that does not bring happiness or rest. Only the truth sets one free, only the truth brings true peace and rest.

I am glad that God can bring me encouragments when I stray from his ways. It was a harsh reminder that even though I witnessed a film bringing the message of an important Biblical standard, I should have never compromised my convictions by watching an "R" rated film.

Well, to end, I hope this blog encourages you all to remember if the people on "Easy Street" can do the right thing like "main guy" did in this film, those of us following the Lord on "Straight and Narrow" should find it just as easy if not easier to do.

A Restless Girl

Watch a movie
Lay down
Sit up
Lay down again.

Watch another movie
Lay down
Sit up
Lay down again.

Walk about the apartment
Plenty of do,
But those things consists of
Manual
Labor.
Hardly exciting.

Friends pop online.
Good, someone to talk to.
Most ignore me.
Thankfully, one listens to my cry
For what?
For attention.

Maybe I have ADHD,
Maybe I'm not conent.

I know God will bring me
People
Activities.
But, man, He sure does take His time!

You Didn't Do This!

I made an interesting connection between my old and new job today. Today was an especially hectic day at work. One of the managers was sick, so she called off. Our one manager had to come in on her day off. Also, we have been "over budget" for our hours, so many people got cut today. A shipment truck came in and we only had 3 people to unload it (we usually have 10). Our hiring manager had two interviews and orietations today. ALSO, promotionals had to be done. It was one of those "When it rains..." days.

The "day off" manager came in the store in a sour mood at first. When I saw her I noticed she was not in a good mood. I asked her if she was okay, and she continued to tell me how she was upset because, "Nothing in the store was done. I can tell that no one swept and the bathrooms weren't cleaned". I explained to her the predicaments we were in this morning and she really did not care. My opening manager also had critical comments about the crew the night before. These are complaints that I hear several times throughout the week.

At my old job I was bombarded with complaints about the quality of work from other managers and employees. At my last job I was a waitress at a retirement home. Most of the complaints were about how the night crew didn't do this or didn't do that.

How sad it is. Why do people insist on criticizing each other? I cannot believe and will not believe that dwelling on the fact that other people did not do their jobs to one's satisfaction. Sure, it is annoying that the store is not as clean as it should be. Sure, the trash was not taken care of the night before. Who cares?! Just take care of it, address the person that did not take care of their responsibility and move on. Don't dwell on the fact and get in a bad mood. I bet it would make one's work day a million times better.

Work Thou Art My Foe

I hate jobs. They eat so much time out of one's day that there is rarely any time left for important things. I miss my husband. I see him for a few hours every day, approximately three or four. But, I am selfish, and I want to spend an entire day with him. Not to do anything special, just to be with him. I just want to know that I have him all to myself. However, our schedules always seem to collide. The days he has off, I work and vice versa.

Ah, well. Such is life. I don't have to like it, but it is still going to happen. Argh.

Oh, To be Young Again

I really just wanted to write a few words. I have noticed recently, more than usual, how complicated life gets as one grows older. Boys stayed away from girls and vice versa because members of the opposite sex were gross or had cooties. Now, men and women can no longer have a relationship without some type of sexual tension occuring.

Decisions that one faced with were simple. Basically, all one had to figure out was how to waste the hours of the day. Today, jobs need to be found, money needs to be made, where to live, what to wear, what to say. Everything is important and the consequences of every action are much higher.

Life is just not easy anymore. It still has its moments of pure bliss, but it has a good share of terrible ones to. Thank God He is faithful and will see me through it all.